Start Something Somewhere Somehow

It’s been a while – Winter has finally past and I’m looking forward to another Spring full of planting and growing seeds. It’s been a rough past few months for me in some ways, I kind of let myself go into the dark, really giving in to the darkness of Winter. But also embracing the deep quiet and stillness of it. I cut myself off from a few things and people at the end of last year and am still processing how to go about the changes, how to make some sort of progress, how to maintain healthy relationships with things and people I know are important. I can honestly say I’ve done very well distracting myself and keeping busy, but every now and then the creeping feeling of doubt, comparison, and resentment surfaces. Then I remember that this is my life, I’m living it the way I want/need to and I created the circumstances, while drifting into whatever sort of abyssal direction the universe has provided. All I know is that I’m doing what I have always loved and continue to be who I have always been – an artist, who loves nature, photography, music, and writing. I am committed and dedicated to this life – I am searching for ways to make my mark. I’ve just been focusing on keeping my personal dreams, ideas and goals to myself a bit more, because my trust was broken and I felt stepped on – like I had to hold myself back from my full potential and shrink into the shadows…no more of that!!

So, I have a horse now as of September 2022… I’m leasing him for a year and then will figure out if I can afford to re-lease or keep him. Remember that post over a year ago about my dreams of horses and then finding a job with horses..? Well now I am taking care of my own horse, riding 5-6 days a week, learning everything about horse care, and I’m teaching beginner horseback riding lessons. Dreams are so weird and mysterious – I really wonder sometimes what they mean and why I’m able to remember mine so well so often.

I love my horse so much – I couldn’t have imagined a more perfect fit for me. His name is Knockout, and he’s a champagne Hanoverian x Draft. He is gorgeous and healthy, definitely has his quirks but I enjoy his personality and we get along very well. Excited to continue learning with him and see what we can do together this Summer.

I’ve been starting a few things lately – a side hustle photography business called ‘Golden Hour Equine’ goldenhourequine.com … as well as an equestrian blog called ‘NYAE’ (Not Your Average Equestrian) to share stories and encouraging, supportive horsemanship content + progress with Knockout. I’ll also be doing in-person ‘Mandala Meditation’ workshops again soon, helping create a 4-H program, and more ‘Farm to Flowers’ Environmental Education camps at my workplace, planting Sunflowers, Zinnias, herbs, and wildflowers, AND building my own anchored greenhouse at home. Starting small, but I’m starting somewhere!

^ Planted: Parsley, Cilantro, Basil, Kale, Arugula, Lettuce, Bell peppers, Lavender, Chamomile, Strawberries, Echinacea, Zinnias, Sunflowers … more to come soon.

Everything feels like it’s coming back to life, including me… I do love the cold wind on my face while walking my dogs, sunlight beaming through bare tree branches, wearing scarves and bundling up in cozy sweaters, but I’m really glad to see the leaves and flowers coming back, the days getting longer, and hearing more bird songs.

The best sight in my yard right now is the Elder tree waking up… always the most beautiful thing knowing that soon there will be Elderflowers and berries, along with Honeysuckle and my favorite Passiflora…. the cycle just goes on and on. The seasons always remind me that there’s a start and end, then another start…

Are you starting anything? There’s always a way to start something, somehow, somewhere… I hope you find your way.