Stepping Stone

A lot has happened in the past 2 months since I’ve last written. The seeds I planted have grown to be huge – lot’s of flowers are blooming and I’ve been hosting in-person mandala meditation groups in the garden at the farm. It’s been a lot of work and fun, learning a lot.

Our Zinnias are looking beautiful – there is so much variety. Sunflowers are growing super tall and buds are coming soon!

For a time I struggled again with failure, imposter syndrome, spiritual emptiness, comparing myself and feeling used, as a sort of stepping stone.. but I had to shake these things off and stay focused on my path. Trusting the process, having faith, making moves for myself. It’s been difficult to find words lately, and I’ve been wanting to just experience things with my eyes to capture them in my mind, instead of capturing everything for social media. But of course, I still take my camera out for pleasure.. and I do enjoy sharing the beautiful sights around me.

I’ve not had much time or space to understand/explain what’s bothering me, how to advocate for myself, and how to re-center myself, cleanse my psyche. I’ve been kind of spread thin. Coming back to prayer, reading, singing… after a hiatus. Lots of planetary shifts, spikes in Earth’s electromagnetic field spectrum, alignments, happenings around the world, national news, and inflation have been disruptive. Life in general has been strange.

It’s good to look up at the sky and just be grateful to be alive, no matter how complicated it may seem.

Also, I found a dumped/stray puppy at the dog park a few weeks ago and ended up keeping her. She started following my dogs and I, and I just couldn’t leave her after watching the car she was hiding under drive away when I started looking over to figure out who she belonged to. Apparently, dogs are frequently being abandoned at the park, I’ve seen a few other similar stories on local ‘Lost & Found Pets’ pages, and the shelters are so full, I didn’t want to take her there, so I went to the vet right away and got her everything she needed. She’s another big dog, white lab mix, so soft and cute – she’s a good girl but seems to have gone through some sort of trauma. I’ve had to be very patient with her. We are working on it though and with a lot of confidence boosting, cuddles, and training, she is improving. I love animals… So this is just my life. I’m a dog mom of 3 now.

Summer has arrived in Memphis, the heat is unbearable – the sun beats down, it feels so heavy. But the plants are adapted to it. I am happy to see my Elderflowers coming back, the Passion vines climbing up and budding soon… all the lush greenery, fireflies, butterflies, bees, hummingbirds. Another year of memories… can you believe it, the year 2022 is already reaching its half way point?!

I’ve loved watching my Elder tree grow over the years, it’s so special. I made some yummy Elderflower lemonade the other day, it’s so good for the respiratory system. There will be tons of berries in a few more months.

So, I have plans for this blog/website – transforming it into something more dedicated to my mandala meditation sessions, where people can sign up to be a part of the local meet ups, and also receive virtual updates, self-written weekly motivational prompts and art challenges. I’ve already had a facebook group going for about a year where I post the prompts, but now that I know I’m capable of doing in-person guided meditation groups, it’s time to take this to the next level.

Here are a few botanical mandalas I’ve painted recently, the Passiflora one is my favorite so far.

I’d mentioned here before how I became interested in art therapy, and how I began painting mandalas for my own sort of therapeutic reasons. Also how I didn’t want this to be a personal journal blog, it needs to be more topic-centered… so it’s really overdue for some changes. Slowly but surely the ball will get rolling.