Mandala Meditation

While there is so much chaos in the world right now, I’m grateful for the peace, luxury and simplicity of my life, for the time I have to be at home alone to create and be with my dogs. I have so much to be grateful for… I make my breakfast, have tea, light an incense, sit in a cozy spot in front of a window facing my backyard, where there’s a birdfeeder and birdbath. I listen to music, watch the branches of the trees sway and butterflies flutter around the garden. I truly live a good life. All I can think to do is find ways to spread joy and kindness in a world full of pain and deceit. Asking myself every day how to add value or be a positive influence in this crazy place. Sometimes not knowing if what I have to offer is even noticed, but if all I am supposed to do with my life for now is share pretty nature pictures, music, and art, then so be it.

I graduated on August 7th with my Master of Arts degree in Earth Science, Geography. It was an outdoor ceremony on a hot sunny day in Memphis – but I’m so proud and relieved to be finished. Nothing came of my research and professional paper though, I don’t even know if anyone has read it all the way through. It was never published or used by anyone in government, but my knowledge of Shelby County’s large-scale blight and GIS map-making will stay with me. Finding a job gives me anxiety, especially during these times with covid. While I do look and have applied for some, I don’t follow through… I’m just not comfortable anymore and have no desire to be in the “real world” job realm, maybe I haven’t found my place in it yet. I’ve resorted to enjoying my isolation and the friends and family I do see. That’s enough for me right now and I can’t care too much about what anyone thinks I should be doing or what I could do with my degrees. In time, I trust that I’ll find a way to be of more use.. but what others consider as productivity or success should not be the only measure of worth.

At this point in my life, all I want is a baby with my husband, to be able to tend to my garden, cook us healthy meals, care for my home, and keep myself busy with crafts. I think I’m mostly only able to live this way because I’m married to a hardworking man who takes pride in providing. Without him I would be forced to make ends meet like so many people are.. It’s taken me a while to be okay with the fact that I don’t need to do what so many people have to do – work very long hours. While that is also praise-worthy and an amazing feat, I think after the pandemic many people are trying to adjust to what’s left of this society. Thankfully, I am able to pay my student loans back little by little with all the savings I’ve accumulated from 12 years of working jobs, from refunds, and family support. I’ve never been one to blow money, and I’m glad now that I have the capacity to live the way I do, with a reliable car that I’ve been able to pay off, in a small 2 bedroom rental home that we can afford all the bills for, where I have access to parks and groceries nearby. It’s these types of things that I feel so lucky to have. I can’t believe I got to travel and learn so much in my youth, I have two more years until I’m 30, and I am amazed at how easy my life is right now. I didn’t expect to ever be loved the way I am loved – I think that was my biggest surprise and blessing.

Dreadful thoughts and worries still come and knock on the door of my mind, but I’ve gotten better at rejecting them and calming myself. Better at reaffirming my mental stability through prayer and gratitude. Something I’ve been doing a lot lately is coloring mandalas. I share my art here under the Art tab on this blog – but I’ve been making so many that I figured my mandalas deserved their own blog post. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even feel like my day is fully complete until I color one, it’s become a daily goal and sort of meditation practice for me. Mandala meditation has helped me so much the past few weeks that I wanted to start a group to get others inspired to create too, so I made one on Facebook… anyone who loves to be creative can request to join 🙂 I write meditative prompts and weekly themes to help guide mandala coloring.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/mandala.meditation.group/

Here are a few mandalas from a new coloring book I got recently:

I’m just really enjoying being able to concentrate on my hobbies and skills. Even though there have been challenges, one mandala a day has allowed me to check-in with myself emotionally, work on my attention span, and express myself through color like never before. I’m challenging myself to continue this for as long as I can.

Terrarium making is also coming along! My sister-in-law and I successfully made three last week and they’re adorable. I can’t wait to make more for our Fervent Earth collection. We’ve also been making jewelry – earrings, bracelets, and anklets with hemp, wire, wooden beads, gemstones, glass beads, and little charms. It’s so fun, I’m trying to stay organized and build some momentum. Our Instagram account is Fervent_Earth – The Rostig Schwesters.

We made these with a pebble drainage layer and healthy hand-mixed substrate, then added moss, ferns, peperomia plants, and cute trinkets. After a few days, they’re growing and happily condensating, making their own little ecosystems. Our goal is to start selling terrariums locally, and to get some other Fervent Earth merchandise up on Etsy to sell too. It’d be a nice way to make a little money on the side, until we’re able to work regular jobs again. And if it becomes a full-time gig we’re okay with that too.

Nicer pictures using my digital camera will look more professional for anything we list online. But here’s some of the jewelry we’ve made:

Being an entrepreneur isn’t an easy path, but I think we both need to feel more in control over our livelihoods right now, and this is our way. The outside world has become less and less reliable and trustworthy. With big industries and greed manipulating peoples’ minds. Deep corruption and an agenda that people don’t understand or want to admit is happening. People are losing basic rights and perpetuating discrimination in a new, dangerous way. What do we even think we know about “freedom”?

My only advice is stay close to your passions, and don’t forget that love and faith are desperately needed. Honestly, what else is there to live for besides love? Going without love in your spirit, even temporarily, is like going without air in your lungs, holding your breath under murky water… Stay afloat and see how much beauty there still is on Earth, how much potential there is if we just believe.

All in all, there’s still so much good in my personal life to remember to be happy about, to meditate on…

While I color I think about how much time I’ve spent being sad or overwhelmed, acknowledging the fact that so many of the reasons were out of my control. I try to let go of that when I color. What I do have control over is much more important, I know that now. Like the colors I choose to use for each mandala, or which beads to string. Something that simple…

*My mom gifted me these coloring books… I have so many mandalas to color now!*

What you feed yourself, you become…

I made myself an amazing loose leaf tea blend this morning, with one Passion flower that I picked and dried from my garden, Dead-nettle picked and dried from my mom’s garden, along with Sage, Lavender, Black-walnut hull, and Peppermint. It was so soothing and healing…

I hope that whoever you are, where ever you are reading this, that you find something to comfort you in these times we’re living in. When there’s sickness, war, destruction of the environment, and dwindling education systems, that you find some hope still to hold on to. That you can find a way to nurture, create and make decisions in your own life that feel meaningful, that build loving memories, brings you stillness and tranquility that humbles you in this loud, distracting world.